Blog

March 16, 2026
by Annie Jennings

Death is inevitable. From the moment we arrive in the world, we understand—at least abstractly—that everything living will someday end. But knowing that doesn’t make loss any easier when it finally reaches us. Grief settles in quietly, then expands, shaping our days in ways we never asked for. And then a hundred small moments follow—quiet reminders that sit on your shoulder, whispering the names and faces of those you’ve lost. Those moments stay in your chest long after the funeral ends. And while there is nothing good about the feeling of grief—it is arguably one of the worst human experiences—there is also an absurdity to death, one that comedy sometimes reveals more honestly than solemnity ever could.

Why Humor Shows Up in Grief

Death is overwhelming. According to funeral educator Todd Van Beck, the emotions that grief triggers can be so intense that people sometimes use humor instinctively as a way to distance themselves from fear and anxiety. He writes that humor often arises when people feel unprepared for the reality of death, because “few, if any, people want to feel anxious,” and that it gives the mind a momentary escape from the weight of loss.

Van Beck also notes that while people rarely share these jokes publicly, they do so privately. Among funeral directors, hospice workers, and nurses, humor is constant. It’s a necessary pressure valve. A release. A way to stay human in the face of something bigger and darker than we can handle.

Humor Reduces Stress and Softens Grief

Grief doesn’t end after a few months; it becomes integrated into our lives. That’s why humor matters. It helps us carry the weight. Research supports this. Flanner Buchanan Funeral Services cites studies showing that widows and widowers who could laugh and smile about their loved ones experienced less depression and anxiety. Laughter doesn’t erase grief, but it can often make it more bearable, helping the body regulate stress, lowering tension, and improving long‑term coping.

Why We Laugh at the Worst Possible Times

There’s also the science of inappropriate laughter, those moments when you absolutely should not laugh, and yet you do. A study in Communications Psychology found that suppressing laughter actually makes it harder not to laugh. The more you try to keep a straight face, the more your brain rebels. And once someone else laughs? Forget it. Your face joins in whether you want it to or not. Almost everyone has a story of laughing at a funeral or during a moment of deep seriousness. Not because they didn’t care—but because the human brain sometimes reaches for levity when the weight of the moment becomes too much.

Comedy Makes Space for Grief

Grief is complicated. It’s heavy. It’s disorienting. But it’s also full of strange, unexpected moments where humor slips in, not to disrespect the dead, but to remind the living that they’re still here. That’s why stories like Fourteen Funerals resonate. They acknowledge that grief isn’t tidy. It’s awkward. It’s painful. It’s sometimes wildly, inappropriately funny. And in that messy overlap between sorrow and laughter, we find the humanity that keeps us going.

Fourteen Funerals runs March 21–April 12. Get tickets here.